文/HuSir

亲爱的弟兄姊妹们：

　　这些年来，我和许多信徒一样，常常参加聚会，在分堂里一起敬拜、听道、祷告。表面上看，我们的教会生活仍在继续：分散在城市各个角落的分堂，让大家聚会更便利，也在现实环境中减少了不必要的压力。总堂牧师当初的拆分决定，在当时确实是合适的安排；这些年他虽在神学院进修深造，仍尽力抽出时间通过线上与大家共同敬拜并时常与大家保持联结。我们对他的感情很深，也感谢神藉着他所做的工。

　　然而，当我安静在主面前，回头看自己，也看我们整体的光景时，心里却渐渐多了一份沉重。我们并不是没有聚会，也不是没有敬拜，但似乎有一样更根本的东西，在不知不觉中变得不那么清晰了——那就是悔改。

　　这里所说的悔改，并不是我们口头上的认罪，也不是一时的情绪低落，而是愿意真实面对自己的光景，在神面前承认、转离，并让生命一点一点被更新。这不是一次性的经历，而是一条需要不断走的路。

　　主耶稣出来传道时，说：“日期满了，神的国近了，你们当悔改，信福音！”（马可福音1:15）使徒彼得在五旬节也说：“你们各人要悔改……”（使徒行传2:38）初期教会的开始，并不是形式的建立，而是人心被光照之后的回应。

　　回到我们今天的生活，我们或许都能感受到一种真实的张力：环境的压力、生活的惯性、内心的挣扎，让人很容易在信仰上停留在“维持”的状态。聚会依然参加，祷告依然存在，但在一些具体的事情上，我们未必真的愿意面对，也未必有力量去改变。

　　有时，我们甚至会不自觉地把聚会当作一种“安慰”，好像只要还在参与，就可以暂时不去触碰那些更深的问题。久而久之，一些情绪、习惯、关系中的问题，仍然留在里面，没有真正被带到主面前。

　　圣经中多次提到，人的内在状态与整体生命是紧密相连的：

　　“心中安静是肉体的生命；嫉妒是骨中的朽烂。”（箴言14:30）
　　“喜乐的心乃是良药；忧伤的灵使骨枯干。”（箴言17:22）

　　大卫在诗篇中的经历也提醒我们：当人选择回避问题时，里面会渐渐失去力量；当人愿意面对并交托时，反而会重新得着释放与平安。

　　我们现在的分堂模式，在现实层面确实带来了许多帮助，但同时也带来一个新的处境：每个小群体都有自己的节奏与状态，更需要每一个人自己去面对与主的关系。外在的环境可以影响我们，却不能代替我们在神面前的真实回应。

　　因此，我越来越觉得，教会最重要的事情，或许不在于形式是否完整，也不在于人数多少，而是在于——我们是否仍然愿意在神面前保持一个可以被光照的心。

　　没有悔改的信仰，很容易变成习惯；
　　但有悔改的生命，即使在软弱中，也会慢慢被更新。

　　启示录中，主对几个教会反复提到“悔改”。这些教会并不是没有形式，甚至有的看起来很丰富，但主仍然看重他们里面的真实状态：“凡我所疼爱的，我就责备管教他。所以你要发热心，也要悔改。”（启示录3:19）

　　弟兄姊妹，我写这些，并不是要指出谁的问题，也不是要改变什么结构。我自己也在这样的光景中，常常看见自己的有限与软弱。只是当我不断安静下来时，越来越觉得：也许我们都需要再一次回到最起初的地方。

　　或许可以从一个很简单的问题开始：
　　在最近的日子里，有没有什么，是我们心里知道，却一直没有愿意带到主面前的？

　　悔改，并不是靠意志硬撑，而是先愿意被光照，然后一步一步顺服。神是信实的，当人愿意靠近祂时，祂不会拒绝。

　　愿我们在各自的处境中，仍然保留这一点真实的回应。无论在哪一个分堂，无论在什么环境里，只要人与主之间是通的，教会这个身体就仍然是活的。

　　愿主带领我们，从里面开始更新。阿们！

　　如果你读到这里，心里有一点触动，可以在合适的范围里，与信任的弟兄姊妹彼此分享、祷告。也许不需要很多行动，只是多一点真实，就已经是一个开始。

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What Should the Church Consider Most Important?

By HuSir

Dear brothers and sisters,

Over the years, like many believers, I have regularly attended gatherings, joining in worship, listening to teaching, and praying together in our house churches. On the surface, our church life continues: the division into smaller gatherings scattered across different corners of the city has made it more convenient for everyone to meet and has reduced unnecessary pressure in our real-life environment. The original decision by the senior pastor to divide the church was indeed a suitable arrangement at the time. Even though he has been studying abroad at seminary, he has still made every effort to find time to worship with us online and to maintain connection with everyone. We have deep affection for him and thank God for the work He has done through him.

However, when I quietly come before the Lord and look back at myself as well as the overall condition of our church, a growing heaviness has filled my heart. It is not that we lack meetings or worship, but it seems that something more fundamental has gradually become less clear among us — and that is repentance.

The repentance I am speaking of is not merely verbal confession, nor is it a momentary feeling of sadness. It is the willingness to truly face our condition before God, to acknowledge our sins, to turn away from them, and to allow our lives to be renewed little by little. It is not a one-time experience, but a path we need to walk continually.

When the Lord Jesus began His ministry, He said, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.” (Mark 1:15). The Apostle Peter also said on the day of Pentecost, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38). The beginning of the early church was not the establishment of forms, but the response of hearts that had been convicted by the light of God.

Coming back to our lives today, we can all perhaps feel a real tension: the pressure of the environment, the inertia of daily life, and the struggles within our hearts make it very easy for us to remain in a state of “maintaining” our faith. We still attend gatherings and continue to pray, but in certain specific areas, we may not truly be willing to face the issues, nor do we always have the strength to change.

Sometimes, without realizing it, we even treat gatherings as a kind of “comfort,” as if participating is enough and we can temporarily avoid touching deeper problems. Over time, certain emotions, habits, and relational issues remain buried inside and are never truly brought before the Lord.

The Bible repeatedly shows that a person’s inner state is closely connected to their overall life:

“A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30)

“A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

David’s experience in the Psalms also reminds us: when a person chooses to avoid problems, strength gradually drains away inside; when a person is willing to face them and entrust them to God, release and peace are restored.

Our current model of scattered smaller gatherings has indeed brought much practical help in reality, but it has also created a new situation: each small group has its own rhythm and condition, and it requires every individual to personally face their relationship with the Lord. The external environment can influence us, but it cannot replace our genuine response before God.

Therefore, I have increasingly come to feel that the most important thing for the church is perhaps not whether the forms are complete, nor how many people attend, but whether we are still willing to maintain a heart that can be illuminated by God.

Faith without repentance easily becomes mere habit;

but a life with repentance, even in weakness, will slowly be renewed.

In the book of Revelation, the Lord repeatedly calls several churches to “repent.” These churches were not without forms — some even appeared rich and prosperous — yet the Lord still cared deeply about their true inner condition: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.” (Revelation 3:19)

Brothers and sisters, I am writing this not to point out anyone’s problems, nor to change any structure. I myself am in this same condition and often see my own limitations and weaknesses. It is simply that as I continue to quiet myself before the Lord, I feel more and more that perhaps we all need to return once again to the very beginning.

Perhaps we can start with a very simple question:

In recent days, is there anything in our hearts that we know about but have not yet been willing to bring before the Lord?

Repentance is not achieved by sheer willpower. It begins with a willingness to be illuminated by God, and then step by step, to obey. God is faithful; when a person is willing to draw near to Him, He will not turn them away.

May we, in our respective situations, still preserve this genuine response. No matter which small gathering we belong to, and no matter what environment we are in, as long as the relationship between us and the Lord remains open, the body of the church will still be alive.

May the Lord lead us to begin renewal from within. Amen!

If you feel even a little touched after reading this, you may share and pray together with trusted brothers and sisters in an appropriate setting. Perhaps we do not need many actions — just a little more authenticity may already be a good beginning.