阅读预备：《灰姑娘》的启示

    《灰姑娘》是由美国华特·迪士尼影片公司出品的经典动画电影，该片根据同名童话故事改编。故事讲述了灰姑娘辛德瑞拉（Cinderella）在母亲和父亲相继去世后，继母和其女儿们对她百般折磨，但灰姑娘得到魔法相助，最终成为王子的意中人，但在她重新面对继母的时候并没有将多年的不幸和痛苦付之于怨恨，反而说出了那句：我原谅你（I forgive you）。

    我觉得这句话在整个故事中的意义非凡，他似乎是在表明辛德瑞拉接受了恩典后完全融入新生活的喜悦，并对过去艰辛生活彻底告别，内心充满了对自己新生活的信心和盼望。亲爱的弟兄姐妹，你们能感受到辛德瑞拉内心的感恩之情吗？这是否让我们联想到重生后的自己，因着神的恩典，我们也得以告别过去的罪恶与痛苦，迎接属灵的新生？

    在我们的现实生活中，每个人都会遇到让自己难以释怀的伤害与冒犯，人与人之间的信任往往经不起哪怕是一点点的误会和观念差异，时下流行的一句话是：对三观不合的人，一个字：远离；两个字：直接拉黑......

    造成这样情况的原因不一而同，我试着查阅了一下资料，不愿意饶恕他人的心理学原因有多个，我认为根源有三方面，一是人性中那个收到伤害后的报复冲动，而非饶恕；二是以自我完美为中心的本性，遇到他人的不‘完美’举措伤害到自己时便难以释怀；三是通过不饶恕他人保持自己的‘控制感’，即我在此之前提到的远离状态，也借此保持自我完美的本性，克制住自己报复他人引起不必要麻烦的潜在冲动。

    如此看来，不愿饶恕别人的心态，虽然看似在保护自己，却会让人陷入苦毒、怨恨的捆绑，甚至影响与神的关系。弟兄姐妹们，圣经明确教导我们，饶恕他人不仅是基督徒对神恩典的回应，更是通往平安与喜乐的道路。神以无限的宽容给罪人时间悔改，基督徒也被呼召去以同样的爱和宽容对待他人，今天就谈一下如何在神爱的恩典中饶恕他人的几个方面。

1. 先说一下不饶恕的错误与害处

    不愿饶恕他人，看似是对伤害者的一种抵制，但实际后果却往往更伤害自己。苦毒和怨恨会侵蚀我们的身、心、灵，妨碍我们体验神所赐的平安。
    《马太福音》6:15提醒我们：“你们不饶恕人的过犯，你们的天父也必不饶恕你们的过犯。”不饶恕会让我们心硬，对神的恩典视而不见，甚至削弱我们的灵命，变得和那伤害我们的人一模一样。一个不愿饶恕别人的人，很难真正体会神无条件的爱和饶恕。

    不饶恕不仅让我们活在愤怒和痛苦中，还会破坏与他人的关系，影响心理和身体的健康，对自身造成不可挽回的伤害。正如有句古话所说：“不饶恕就像喝毒药，却指望对方死去。”选择饶恕，不仅是对他人的释放，更是对自己的未病先治。

2. 饶恕与神的宽容：效法《罗马书》的教导

    《罗马书》2:4说：“还是你藐视他丰盛的恩慈、宽容、忍耐，不晓得他的恩慈是领你悔改呢？”这节经文展示了神对罪人的态度：祂并没有因我们的罪恶立即施行审判，而是以无限的宽容等待我们悔改。这样的宽容是我们饶恕他人的榜样，若神都愿意包容我们的罪，等待我们归向祂。

    我们作为蒙恩的罪人，更应学习祂的宽容，给予他人改正的机会，不能像《马太福音》18:23-35描述的那个被主人赦免了的家仆，明明自己全家都得到了主人的恩典却对欠自己很少钱的同伴施以重罚。在我们的生活中会有不公义、不善良的人和事临到我们，甚至是有失公允的所谓大环境压制，当我们选择饶恕时并非是对这些强权或不公义妥协和软弱，只因我们相信神的公义和时间。将他们的过犯交托给神，愿神的爱和公义在他们生命中动工。

3. 像太阳一样发光：饶恕是爱的彰显

    饶恕他人，就如同太阳一样，只管发光，不计较别人是否回应你的温暖。太阳不会因被云遮挡或被忽视而停止发光，它依然履行自己的使命。作为基督徒，我们的饶恕和包容也应如此：不受他人的态度或行为影响，而是因着神的爱坚持去爱与宽容，不被冒犯左右自己的自由。《马太福音》5:16教导：“你们的光也当这样照在人前，叫他们看见你们的好行为，便将荣耀归给你们在天上的父。”

    我们的饶恕不是为取悦人，而是为荣耀神。当我们选择饶恕时，我们就在黑暗中点燃明灯，将神的光和爱照亮他人。那些看起来暂时拒绝爱或似乎不懂得爱的人，往往是最需要爱的。饶恕不仅是爱心的体现，更是将神的爱延续到别人的生命中。即使对方不回应，我们的饶恕也会在天父那里成为记念。

4. 饶恕带来的平安与喜乐

    饶恕是灵魂的释放，是通向内心平安和属灵自由的钥匙。拒绝饶恕，只会让我们被怨恨捆绑；选择饶恕，则让我们体验到神所赐的超然平安，并释放内心的苦毒。《腓立比书》4:7：“神所赐出人意外的平安，必在基督耶稣里保守你们的心怀意念。”饶恕不是否认伤害的存在，而是将伤害交托给神，摆脱痛苦的纠缠。

    选择饶恕，内心便得到了神的医治和平安，带来喜乐与祝福，《使徒行传》20:35提醒我们：“施比受更为有福。”当我们选择饶恕时，不仅自己得到释放，还能成为祝福他人的工具，体验到祂的喜乐和满足。

5. 饶恕是感恩的行动

    饶恕他人，是我们对神恩典最实际的感恩方式。一个蒙恩得救的人从受洗那天起便是将老我连同那些邪情私欲一同钉死在十架之上的人，活着的每一天便是荣耀神的器皿，又怎么有资格去藐视其他身陷罪捆绑的人呢？当我们选择不饶恕他人时，无疑是在告诉周围的人，我们虽为基督徒但仍可以自由穿梭于‘重生’和‘老我’之间呢？

    《歌罗西书》3:13所说：“倘若这人与那人有嫌隙，总要彼此包容，彼此饶恕；主怎样饶恕了你们，你们也要怎样饶恕人。”当我们认识到自己是蒙恩的罪人，饶恕便成了感恩的自然流露，这也是回应神的恩典，神饶恕了我们的罪，而我们通过饶恕他人，延续祂的怜悯，是感恩之心的行动表达。

    通过饶恕，我们将神的爱显明出来，成为他人得救的见证。选择饶恕，是让神的恩典在我们生命中继续运行的方式。

6. 如何实践饶恕？

    靠自己的力量，我们可能很难真正饶恕，但圣灵能赐下力量。向神祷告，求祂软化我们的心，帮助我们放下苦毒。（顺便提一下祷告的方式，个人建议跪姿祷告：双膝跪地，双手撑地或放在膝盖上，身体前倾；大声与神交流，将神当作家人那样倾诉。不建议默祷，思绪容易飞散。）

    我们都是蒙恩的罪人，也曾在神面前悖逆，但因着祂的怜悯得以重生，这样的认知让我们更容易对他人怀有怜悯。有一种情况，那就是我们的父母或家人，似乎与其他人给我们的感受不一样，很多人儿时因着他们的不成熟和无知给我们的身心灵造成的伤害几乎在伴随我们一生，有时候的确是无法用饶恕二字就可以释怀和弥补的，我想这或许就是神将每个人带到这个世界后赐予的一份独特礼物吧，但愿每个人，包括我自己，将这份遗憾用主耶稣爱的饶恕帮助我们成为那个明白主爱的孩子，并通过祝福和祷告，将这份爱，递给父母家人以及冒犯我们的人。

结语：饶恕是爱的见证，平安的钥匙

    饶恕他人包括我们的父母亲朋，是基督徒活出神样式的重要实践，也是生活中几乎每天都在发生的场景。它带来内心的平安与喜乐，释放苦毒和纠缠，更让神的爱借着我们的生命流淌到他人心中，用饶恕的爱回应神的恩典，为祂的荣耀而活。

    亲爱的弟兄姐妹们，你做好了饶恕他人的准备了吗？让我们一起向神祷告。
    如有问题请联系[email protected]。

Why Should We Forgive Others?

Preparation for Reading: “Cinderella’s Revelation”

Cinderella is a classic animated film produced by Walt Disney based on the famous fairy tale. The story tells of Cinderella, who, after the successive deaths of her mother and father, suffers continuous abuse and torment at the hands of her stepmother and stepsisters. With the help of magic, however, she eventually wins the heart of a prince. Yet when the time comes to face her stepmother again, she does not repay years of hardship with bitterness—instead, she simply says, “I forgive you.”

I believe that this simple sentence carries extraordinary meaning within the story. It seems to express that, having received grace, Cinderella fully embraces the joy of her new life and bids farewell to the sorrows of the past. Her heart is filled with gratitude, faith, and hope for her future. Dear brothers and sisters, can you feel the deep gratitude in Cinderella’s heart? Does this not remind us of our own rebirth? Through God’s grace, we too are enabled to leave behind past sins and pain, and welcome a spiritually renewed life.

In our real lives, each person encounters hurt and offense that can be hard to let go. Trust between people is often fragile—even minor misunderstandings or differences in values can cause rifts. Nowadays, it is popular to say that for those whose “worldviews do not match,” a single word should suffice: “keep your distance”; in two words: “block them immediately.”

The reasons for such reluctance to forgive vary. I have reviewed some information, and in my view the underlying causes can be summarized in three aspects:

• An inherent human impulse for revenge when hurt, rather than forgiveness;
• A self-centered desire for perfection, whereby one cannot let go when others’ “imperfections” hurt us; and
• A need to maintain one’s sense of control—refusing to forgive becomes a way to sustain one’s idealized self, suppressing any impulse to retaliate and invite further trouble.

In this light, a refusal to forgive may appear to protect oneself, but in reality it traps us in bitterness and resentment, damaging our relationship with God. Brothers and sisters, the Bible clearly teaches that forgiving others is not only a response to God’s grace but also the pathway to true peace and joy. God has shown infinite patience toward sinners, granting time for repentance; as Christians, we are called to extend that same love and mercy to others. Today, let’s discuss several aspects of how we might forgive in the grace of God.

1. The Errors and Dangers of Not Forgiving

At first glance, refusing to forgive seems like a way to resist those who have wronged us—but in truth, its consequences hurt us most. Bitterness and resentment will invade our body, mind, and spirit, preventing us from experiencing the peace that God offers.

Matthew 6:15 NKJV reminds us: “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” When we withhold forgiveness, we harden our hearts, become blind to God’s grace, and even weaken our spiritual life—eventually becoming like those who have hurt us. A person who does not forgive can hardly experience the unconditional love and forgiveness of God.

Not forgiving keeps us trapped in anger and pain. It also destroys our relationships with others, affects our mental and physical health, and inflicts lasting damage upon ourselves. As the old saying goes, “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Choosing to forgive is not only a release for the offender but also a preemptive healing for ourselves.

2. Forgiveness and God’s Patience: Emulating the Teaching in Romans

Romans 2:4 NKJV states, “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” This verse reveals God’s attitude toward sinners: He does not immediately cast judgment upon our sins but extends immeasurable patience, waiting for us to repent.

Such divine patience serves as our model for forgiveness. Since God is ready to overlook our faults and wait for our return, we too should learn to forgive and give others the opportunity to make amends.

We should not, as illustrated in the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:23–35, withhold forgiveness when we have been shown grace ourselves. In our lives, we will encounter injustice and unkindness—sometimes even from powerful or unjust systems. When we choose forgiveness, we are not compromising or showing weakness; rather, we are entrusting those transgressions to God’s judgment, confident in His justice and timing.

3. Shining Like the Sun: Forgiveness as the Manifestation of Love

Forgiveness is like the sun—it shines regardless of whether its warmth is acknowledged. The sun does not stop giving its light even if it is occasionally hidden by clouds or ignored; it simply continues to fulfill its mission. As Christians, our forgiveness and compassion should be similar: we do not base our love on the responses or actions of others, but rather, we persist in loving and forgiving out of the love of God.

Matthew 5:16 NKJV teaches, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Our act of forgiveness is not meant to please people but to glorify God. When we choose to forgive, we light a beacon in the darkness, transmitting God’s love and compassion to those around us. Often, those who seem least capable of love or who reject our attempts to help are the ones most in need of it. Forgiveness not only reflects our own love but also extends God’s mercy into their lives. Even if they do not respond, our forgiveness is remembered by our Heavenly Father.

4. The Peace and Joy That Forgiveness Brings

Forgiveness is a liberation for the soul—a key to unlocking inner peace and spiritual freedom. If we refuse to forgive, we remain chained to bitterness; if we choose forgiveness, we invite the healing peace of God, freeing our hearts from resentment. As Philippians 4:7 promises, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Forgiving does not mean denying the hurt that has been inflicted; it means surrendering that hurt to God and breaking free from the cycle of pain. In forgiving, our hearts are healed and we experience the joy and blessings of living under God’s gracious mercy. As the Apostle Paul reminds us in Acts 20:35 NKJV, “‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” When we forgive, we not only liberate ourselves, but we become instruments of God’s blessing to others, experiencing His joy and satisfaction.

5. Forgiveness Is an Act of Gratitude

To forgive others is a tangible expression of gratitude for the grace we have received from God. Since the day we were baptized, we have had our old selves, along with our sinful desires, nailed to the cross. Each day we live is meant to glorify God. How, then, can we stand by and scorn those who are still bound by sin?

Colossians 3:13 NKJV instructs, “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Recognizing that we are all sinners saved by grace, forgiveness becomes a natural outpouring of thanksgiving. As God forgave our sins, we are called to extend that same mercy to others—a heartfelt expression of gratitude for God’s grace that continues His work in our lives.

6. How to Practice Forgiveness

By our own strength, it can be extremely hard to truly forgive—but the Holy Spirit can grant us that power.

• Prayer: Ask God to soften your heart and help you release your bitterness.
• Posture: I personally suggest praying in a kneeling position (kneel on both knees, with your hands on the ground or your knees, and lean forward).
• Vocalize: Pray aloud rather than silently, as silent prayer may allow your thoughts to drift.

We are all sinners who have once rebelled against God. Yet by His mercy we have been reborn. This understanding should enable us to extend compassion to others. Sometimes our own parents or family members may have wounded us deeply due to their immaturity or ignorance. Such wounds can sometimes seem beyond the healing power of forgiveness alone—but perhaps that too is a unique gift God has given each person. May every one of us—including myself—learn to accept even that hurt with the forgiving love of our Lord Jesus, and, through blessings and prayer, extend that love to our parents, family, and even those who have offended us.

Conclusion: Forgiveness Is a Testament of Love and the Key to Peace

Forgiving others—including our own parents and close friends—is a crucial practice for living out God’s image and is a scene that occurs nearly every day in our lives. Forgiveness brings inner peace and joy; it frees us from bitterness and entanglement, and it allows God’s love to flow from our lives into the lives of others, as our actions of forgiveness respond to God’s gracious mercy and bring glory to Him.

Dear brothers and sisters, are you ready to forgive others? Let us pray together.