文 / HuSir

　　这段时间，我写的文章多集中在对现实社会的观察与反思。面对种种扭曲与失序，试图用理性去揭示问题，这是应当做的事情。但在这个过程中，我渐渐意识到一个偏差：当我不断揭示现实，却很少回到圣经的话语；当我努力分辨世界，却忽略了对神恩典的体会。问题不在于“有没有引用经文”，而在于——我的心，是否仍然活在恩典之中。

　　我开始反思自己的日常生活。我其实一直在努力“与神同行”。无论是开车、写作，还是处理家务，我都提醒自己要专注、要端正、要活在当下，小酌不肆意、做事不懈怠。从外在看，这是一种敬虔的操练。但从内心看，我却发现一个令人不安的事实：我的“人生”并不快乐。我在认真地活，却没有体验到与基督同在的喜乐；我在努力地行，却缺少感恩。慢慢地我才明白，这背后不是方法的问题，而是方向的问题。我把“与神同行”，活成了一种“自我要求”；却没有把它当作“恩典中的同行”。

　　圣经中有一句话说：“你们要常常喜乐，不住地祷告，凡事谢恩。”（帖前5:16-18）我过去更多关注的是“要做什么”，却忽略了这三者的顺序与关系。不是因为我们做得好，所以才能喜乐；而是因为我们领受了恩典，所以可以喜乐。如果没有“谢恩”，“同行”就很容易变成一种属灵的紧绷状态。

　　很多时候，我们误以为：专注就是敬虔，克制就是属灵，严肃就是成熟。但隐约间察觉到了一点：没有喜乐的敬虔，很可能已经偏离了恩典。一个人若始终处在“我要做好”“我要对齐”“我要警醒”的状态中，他很容易陷入另一种形式的捆绑——不是被罪捆绑，而是被“自我努力”捆绑—–就是那种仍然想靠自己的努力成功，试图不依靠神丰富的恩典就大获成功。

　　真正的转变，是从这里开始的：当我开车时，不只是提醒自己“要专注”，而是意识到——此刻的平安，本身就是恩典；当我写作时，不只是要求自己“要写好”，而是感谢——我还能思考、还能表达激情；当我处理琐事时，不只是“完成任务”，而是看见——这些平凡本身就是被托付的生活。这时，生活没有改变，但内心开始柔软了。喜乐，不再来自“我做得如何”，而是来自“我正在被恩典托住”。

　　我渐渐明白：与神同行，从来不是一条紧绷的路，而是一条被恩典托起的路。悔改，使我们走上这条路；但喜乐，使我们愿意继续走下去。如果只有悔改，而没有喜乐，信仰就会变成负担；如果只有同行，而没有感恩，生命就会失去动力。

　　对今天的许多基督徒来说，我们并不缺少“方向”，我们缺少的，是“享受”。我们习惯于反思、警醒、约束，却不习惯于安息、领受、感恩。但一个不懂得感恩的人，很难真正自由；一个不经历恩典的人，也很难持续前行。

　　当一个人开始在日常中学会感恩，他的生命会发生一个微妙但深刻的变化：他不再只是“努力活对”，而是开始“甘心去活”，甘心去干这、干那。这种甘心，会带来一种轻松感；这种轻松，不是放纵，而是从神而来的自由。

　　而这种自由，正是我们能够继续回应呼召的根基。一个被恩典充满的人，才更有力量面对现实的复杂；一个内心有喜乐的人，才更有勇气追求真正的自由；也只有这样的人，才能在这个时代，不只是看见问题，不只是有满腔热情，而是成为被神使用的人，成为成就神旨意的人，何其荣耀。

　　所以，也许我们需要的，不只是继续努力与神同行，而是在同行中，重新学会一件简单却被忽略的事：感谢、感恩。当感谢、感恩成为习惯，喜乐就不再需要被追求；当喜乐成为生命的底色，自由，也就不再遥远。社会的希望也不再遥远，因为这一切都在神的手中。

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Why Is There Still a Lack of Joy When Walking with God? — From Effort to Grace

By HuSir

During this period, most of my writings have focused on observing and reflecting on social realities. In the face of various distortions and disorders, attempting to reveal problems through reason is something that ought to be done. However, in this process, I gradually became aware of a deviation: while I continued to expose reality, I rarely returned to the words of the Bible; while I tried hard to discern the world, I neglected to experience God’s grace. The issue is not whether I have quoted Scripture, but rather — whether my heart is still living in grace.

I began to reflect on my daily life. I have actually been striving to “walk with God.” Whether driving, writing, or handling household chores, I remind myself to stay focused, upright, and present in each moment; to drink moderately without indulgence, and to work without laziness. From the outside, this appears to be a form of godly discipline. But inwardly, I discovered an unsettling fact: my “life” was not joyful. I was living seriously, yet I did not experience the joy of being with Christ; I was striving in action, yet lacked gratitude. Gradually I realized that the issue was not one of method, but of direction. I had turned “walking with God” into a form of self-demand, rather than receiving it as “walking within grace.”

There is a verse in the Bible that says: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18) In the past, I focused more on what I should do, but overlooked the order and relationship among these three. It is not because we have done well that we can rejoice; rather, it is because we have received grace that we are able to rejoice. Without “giving thanks,” “walking with God” easily becomes a state of spiritual tension.

Many times, we mistakenly believe that focus equals godliness, restraint equals spirituality, and seriousness equals maturity. Yet I began to sense something: godliness without joy has likely drifted away from grace. If a person remains in a constant state of “I must do well,” “I must align,” “I must stay alert,” he can easily fall into another kind of bondage — not bondage to sin, but bondage to “self-effort” — that is, still trying to succeed by one’s own effort, attempting to achieve great success without relying on God’s abundant grace.

The true turning point begins here: when I drive, I no longer simply remind myself to “stay focused,” but realize that the peace of this very moment is itself grace; when I write, I no longer just require myself to “write well,” but give thanks that I can still think and express passion; when I handle trivial matters, I no longer just “complete tasks,” but see that these ordinary things are themselves entrusted aspects of life. At this point, life itself has not changed, but my heart has begun to soften. Joy no longer comes from “how well I perform,” but from “being sustained by grace.”

I gradually came to understand: walking with God has never been a tense path, but a path lifted up by grace. Repentance sets us on this path; but joy enables us to continue walking. If there is only repentance without joy, faith becomes a burden; if there is walking without gratitude, life loses its momentum.

For many Christians today, what we lack is not direction, but enjoyment. We are accustomed to reflection, vigilance, and restraint, yet unaccustomed to rest, receiving, and giving thanks. But a person who does not know gratitude can hardly be truly free; a person who does not experience grace can hardly continue forward.

When a person begins to learn gratitude in daily life, a subtle yet profound change occurs: he no longer merely “tries to live correctly,” but begins to “willingly live,” willingly doing this and that. This willingness brings a sense of ease; this ease is not indulgence, but freedom that comes from God.

And this freedom is precisely the foundation that enables us to continue responding to His calling. A person filled with grace has greater strength to face the complexities of reality; a person with joy in his heart has greater courage to pursue true freedom; and only such a person can, in this age, not merely see problems or be filled with passion, but become someone used by God, someone who fulfills His will — what a glory that is.

Therefore, what we may need is not merely to continue striving to walk with God, but to relearn something simple yet often overlooked within that walk: giving thanks, gratitude. When thanksgiving becomes a habit, joy no longer needs to be pursued; when joy becomes the foundation of life, freedom will no longer be distant. The hope of society will also no longer be distant, because all of this is in God’s hands.